the first time I saw this video I thought to myself “7 minutes? There’s no way I’m going to watch all of that”
how wrong I was
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
The first Disneyland admission ticket ever sold.
It was purchased by Roy O. Disney, Walt Disney’s older brother, for $1 in 1955.
how could u not reblog this?
OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOOOo0o0oOOOoo0oD.
OH MY GOD PLEASE DONT UNFOLLOW ME FOR THIS
ACTUALLY DO IF YOU CANT HANDLE THIS YOU CANT HANDLE MY BLOG
IM REBLOGGING THIS AGAIN
what. the. FUCK?
Wtf…. It’s too early for this shit….
Found a photo my dad took when he rode Rocket Rods.
I was lucky enough to ride this a few times.
Tumblr Pro Ft. Doug Dimmadome, Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome
Doug Dimmadome, Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome?!
Correct, that is Doug Dimmadome, Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome. Tumblr Pro is featuring Doug Dimmadome, Onwer of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome.
The same Doug Dimmadome owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome founder and inventor of the Dimmsdale Dimmadollars coiner of the term “Dimmadarn” and owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome where they’re showing Crash Nebula?
Parody KFC Promotion Featuring The Hound from “Game of Thrones”
I’m gonna have to eat every chicken in this fuckin room
Hound a Half: Cute Arya and Sandor Clegane Movie Fan Poster
YES. Fuck the king lol
Latin American Studies Majors:
Religious Studies Majors:
Women & Gender Studies Majors: